The One-Eyed Freak

Polyphemus

“…laughter filled my heart to think how nobody's name-my great cunning stroke-had duped them one and all…such a blithering fool he took me for! But I was already plotting…My wits kept weaving, weaving cunning schemes-life at stake, monstrous death staring us in the face-till this plan struck my mind as best.” 

Odysseus, The Odyssey of Homer, by Lattimore ~ Book IX, 461 to 474

I am one of the lucky ones that survived Polyphemus’ wrath! Wow, that guy is huge and he has an orb-shaped eye on his forehead. Oh! I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Anaxagary. I’m one of the best men of Odysseus. I wanted to blog about my past adventure with Odysseus and the one-eyed giant. That was a very exciting and interesting one.

It all started after lunch, near the island of Thrinacia. I was in the same ship with Odysseus and we were eating goat meat during lunchtime. It was really good! We were just chilling and talking when Odysseus suddenly became curious and adventurous. He wanted our ship filled with men to dock on the mainland. I guess he was just being curious about this island. We couldn’t really go against his order so we docked on the mainland. Odysseus went down and called twelve of his best men. I was one of them. He also brought with him the wine that the priest of Apollo gave him. I think this was for the host for him to welcome us since we were going in his house. I think Odysseus made a huge mistake here, he should think twice! 

The island was amazing, there were fruits everywhere and there were also many animals just wandering around. I have never seen such a wonderful island. However, it looked primitive and uncivilized as if no one had been there before. As we were walking, we saw this huge cave and we suspected that it was a cave of a Cyclops. Even though no one was in the cave, by looking at the size of it and the food that was in there, we knew. The fear of death started lingering into our bodies. Cyclopes are known for being uncivilized savages that eat anything that comes into their way. Odysseus, however, found an abundance of food in the cave. He demanded to steal it. He brought us in the cave and we started eating. We were stealing food from the Cyclops. This is not how it’s supposed to be, we should wait for the host and eat not eat without the host. I figured that it was so risky!

Again, we could not do anything. He was our leader and we had to follow him. The Cyclops came and had us for dinner, literally! He devoured two of our men right in-front of us. We were right, these guys have no hospitality at all. The guests are supposed to be welcomed to the house, not eaten! We were horrified at this point since we found that the Cyclops ate humans. It was no ordinary Cyclops. It was Polyphemus, the son of Poseidon. After devouring two of our men for supper, he trapped the rest of us in the cave with an enormous stone. I guess he was saving us for later meals, I hope he wasn't! 

Polyphemus came back and devoured two more of our men. He truly is a cannibal, he eats his victims raw. We offered him three large bowls of wine. He took the three bowls and finished it. We had a good feeling after this. Our plan was going smooth. He demanded to know Odysseus‘ name. The wily hero said, “Nobody.” After three large bowls he was so drunk, he passed out. This was the perfect timing. We struck his eye with a pointed lance and blinded him. He woke up due to the inevitable pain. He called his fellow Cyclopes, who asked him who had done this to him. He said, “Nobody! Nobody is killing me by fraud not by force!” The Cyclops just told him to be quiet and to pray to his father. Then they went home. We were so happy that the Cyclops was now blind and so we had a chance to escape. Odysseus was really wise at this point to say his name was Nobody. 

Odysseus stabbing Polyphemus

The next morning, Odysseus tricked him again. He tied us under the fat on of the ram since they must be taken out to pasture. However, he was still blind. He didn't check underneath the ram so we got out safely. Finally, we headed back to our ships. We were so happy. We nicknamed Odysseus now as “trickster.” He is the master of pranks. Even though it was the son of Poseidon he didn't really care. This just shows how creative and crafty Odysseus is, just like his father. 

So, we sailed in happiness singing songs with our guitars on the boat. When we looked at Odysseus, it seemed like something was bothering him. He was probably guilty of the men that had died. He seemed really sad and almost teary-eyed. When we got a good distance away from Polyphemus, Odysseus stood up. He shouted, “It is not Nobody who stabbed you. It is I, Odysseus. Son of Laertes and King of Ithaca.” The Cyclops, though blind, threw boulders at our ship. He nearly hit us! That guy is good, he must have a hundred-percent accuracy with his eye open. Odysseus had to be careful since Polyphemus would tell his father what had happened. This is what I told him after we got away. 

Polyphemus throwing a boulder

We survived! That was an awesome experience. We landed in the mainland and nearly got killed by Polyphemus, a Cyclops who is the son of Poseidon. We also witnessed how crafty and creative Odysseus really is. Although he got all of us into trouble, he managed to get us out. I feel that Odysseus should really get all of us out since he is the reason why we are in. I guess these are the memories we will never forget.

Image Sources:

http://www.freewebs.com/odysseynewman2008/Polyphemus.gif

http://blog.zebracan.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/cyclops2.jpg

http://hoocher.com/Jean_Leon_Gerome/Polyphemus.jpg

I Get High on... Lotus

Hey everyone... I’m currently in the Land of the Lotus-Eaters. You should definitely go there if you have the chance. And yes, I’m completely aware that Odysseus and his men left a loooooong time ago. I have no regrets. I even heard that all of Odysseus’s men died after eating Helios’s sacred cows. Now that sucks. Thank Zeus for lotuses...

What someone thinks the Land of the Lotus-Eaters looks like. (HINT: It doesn't really look like that.)

“Nine days then I was swept along by the force of the hostile winds on the fishy sea, but on the tenth day we landed in the country of the Lotus-Eaters, who live on a flowering food,”

The Odyssey of Homer, by Lattimore ~ Book IX, 82 to 85

Now I know that in the book by Homer (again I just heard this), it says that only three guys went to the Lotus Land. What they don’t know is that I went too.

I’m Calphineus. I would say that I’m, or at least was, a cool warrior who killed 5,000 Trojans with his bare hands, but truthfully I was kind of just their waterboy. The good thing was that I was never in much danger and I didn’t have to think of death every minute, unlike those other guys. So, yeah. I’m a waterboy and I’m proud of it.

After the last experience, I remember everyone being really upset about something... Ugh I forgot. To be honest I can’t really remember too much. I guess the lotus got to my head already. Oh yeah, a lot of people died. For some reason i didn’t care much. Or did I?

Oh good, my memory’s coming back to me. One night, Odysseus was sitting at a table with two of his men. I know this because I was the waterboy, and we ‘overhear’ a lot of things.

“Letpousa, Kadmos, would you two be able to scout this island for me?” asked Odysseus. He looked different, paler than usual and his hair was a mess.

The two guys cringed a bit.

“I know you’re still sensitive to what happened yesterday, but please,” begged Odysseus. I’d never actually seen him grovel at someone’s feet before. I could tell he was pretty distraught too.

“Alright,” replied one of the two. I didn’t know which one he was. “But we’ll need another.”

“Take Norman with you.”

The two guys didn’t complain and they left soon afterwards. Now, I think you’re saying, “You’re not Norman!” and you’re absolutely right. I snuck out of the ship right after the three. I don’t know what compelled me to do that but in my heart, I’d always wanted an adventure. I guess that was it. 

After sneaking out of the ship, I followed the trio but I didn’t want them to see me so I had to be sneaky. I actually knocked down a little fruit stand along the way (so much for being sneaky), but they didn’t notice me. That was a lucky break.

The next thing I saw blew my mind. 

It was a huge palace, made of pure white marble, with strange plants growing around the columns and beams. I took a closer look and I saw that they were lotus plants. 

This is odd, I thought to myself. I thought lotuses only grow in the water.

Because of my staring at the lotus palace, I totally lost track of the three people I was stalking. Uh oh. Next thing I knew, there were two really pretty girls on each side of me. They were both blonde and were wearing the same kind of Greek dress, and they looked as old as me, about 19. They both had a weird look on their face, like they were high or something (because they were!).

I was kind of at a loss for words so i just said the lamest thing that came to my mind.

“Uh hi, what brings you two pretty girls beside me?” I asked, in a really soft voice.

I don’t think they heard me and the said, “Want a lotus flower?” They both pulled out relatively big pink flowers, and I immediately recognized them from being from the lotus plants I’d seen earlier. 

A lotus flower

I felt weird. I didn’t know people ate those stuff at the time. “Seriously? Lotus flower? Do you think I’m a horse or something?” I quipped. I didn’t really think about that I could be considered impolite or anything.

“Come on, try it!” they began looking at me seductively. “You’ll like it.”

I gulped. How could I refuse stuff from girls like these? I took the lotus flower and ate it. The sensation I felt was like nothing I’d ever felt before. Ever tried ambrosia before? That’s the food of the gods. I never tried it but I’m sure that lotus tastes 100% better than that. I could already feel my legs growing weaker and my brain turning to mush. 

“Got any more?”

“Of course, we’ll be right back,” they replied. I decided not to bother them. I was still savoring the ethereal taste of the lotus, so I wasn’t really in any hurry. I fell back on a little chair that I swear wasn’t there 5 minutes before, but I didn’t care. I was in heaven.

A while later, I was still propped up on my chair when I saw the three men from a few minutes ago crying and being literally dragged by Odysseus out of the palace. I wanted to say something but I couldn’t. I felt content just sitting there and doing nothing even though I was sure that Odysseus would leave right after he dragged his three friends out. The creepy thing was that I looked at the sky, and even though I felt I was there for only minutes, the sky was bright, like in the morning. What time did I get there? Night.

For the longest time I can remember, I haven’t left the Land of the Lotus-Eaters. I don’t even know how long I’ve been in it. I’ve seen a lot of new guys popping up lately, wearing different clothes, speaking differently, with strange things in their hands. I guess they’re from lands that haven’t been discovered yet, but to be honest I don’t care. I only care about this stack of lotus flowers right beside my seat.

(picture 1 http://www.travelblog.org)

(picture 2 http://www.philipresheph.com/demodokos/odyssey/odyss32.jpg)


{actually written by Sean Ocier}

We Sack A City

‘From Ilion the wind took me and drove me ashore at Ismaros by the Kikonians. I sacked their city and killed their people, and out of their city taking their wives and many possessions we shared them out, so none might go cheated of his proper portion.”

The Odyssey of Homer, by Lattimore ~ Book IX, 39 to 43

I didn't have anything to take a picture with so I just drew this.

# # #

I woke up to the sound of a chant. LLLL, LLAA, LAANN... Oh, land. Right. I shook off my sleepiness and I was making my way towards Odysseus when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned, and it was the cook Stanley. I always thought he had an odd name, though definitely not as odd as Jeremy the Circumsizer. I shudder to even think about how he earned that name.

“Hey, did you hear? Odysseus has a plan,” Stanley said. “It’s pretty dangerous though, but it looks like it’ll be interesting. Wanna hear it?”

“Well of course I want to hear it, what do you think?” I replied. Of course I wanted to hear the plan! I love plans, especially the with the giant horse... Now that was clever.

“Sorry,” he said, a bit hurt. “Well, this one is straightforward. You see that island over there?” I nodded. “It’s called Ismaros. Odysseus’s plan is to just ravage the city and take everything in sight. You in?”

“Oh, yes definitely,” I said confidently. Whenever I get a chance to kick ass, I take it. Did I ever mention that I’m good with swords? Now you know.

As soon as the ship beached on the shore, we (although some had to stay and guard, you know!) stepped off and rushed to the Kikonian city. They didn’t know what hit them.

We rushed into the borders and torched the houses, killed the men, took the women... all that war stuff. It was gruesome but it was FUN. We’d practically decimated the entire city, but there was something wrong. I had a bad feeling about continuing, like there was something tugging at my gut saying, Don’t continue all this or we’ll be fish meat!

Naturally I had to tell Odysseus. I wasn’t afraid of authority anyway. I stepped beside him and just said:

“I have a bad feeling about this.” It was nice to get that off my chest.

The shocking thing is that Odysseus actually agreed. “I know, I saw some of the men escaping, running off to the inland country. I fear they may be calling for reinforcements. We must escape with what we have. Alphaeus, inform the others that we must go,” he stated in a somber tone.

I didn’t hesitate to follow him. I rushed to the town square (that’s where everyone was hanging out) and shouted at the top of my voice, “Hey! Let’s go, the Boss’s orders!”

“Is Odysseus your boyfriend now Alphy?” said one of the warriors, Pellecus, in a mocking tone. Gods, I really hated that guy. “Alphaeus and-”

I cut him off mid-song. “This is serious! Odysseus fears there will be more coming! We must take what we have and leave!” I was getting really annoyed already.

“But we’ve only just started having fun! Come on guys, who’s with me?” shouted Pellecus.

“Yeah!!! We’ve just started!” said the rest of the group in nearly perfect unison.

“Let us drink our wine and have our fun!” shouted an elderly warrior, whose name I’m not really familiar with.

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you-” I was rudely cut off by the sound of a battle cry in the distance. It got closer. Suddenly I could hear hooves. And swords. And swear words. Not good.

Let’s just say that in seconds, the Kikonians galloped back in, recaptured the city and either killed or took most of our men. I did my job fighting but the enemy was too large. We were outnumbered by a lot.

I saw Odysseus cornered between two small houses. I had to save him, he was our fearless leader after all. I distracted my man and rushed at the men attempting to kill Odysseus. I swung my sword and one of them fell to the ground, dead. The other two were taken by surprise, giving enough time for Odysseus to bash their heads together.

“Nice fighting, Alphaeus. Let’s go, we have no time!” he said, looking a bit flustered.

“What about the others? And the loot?” I asked back.

“There’s no time for that, it’ll slow us down,” he stated coldly. He hesitated slightly and added, “And the others made their decision already, move.”

That really startled me. I didn’t know Odysseus could throw his men under the chariot like that, and so filled with contempt too! He had his reasons though. I was pretty pissed at them too. I managed to muster a “Got it,” and I ran with Odysseus back to the boat, with a few Kikonians chasing after us.

Unfortunately, by the time we got to the ships (at the time there were more than one, sorry), we made a dreadful discovery. The Kikonians were attacking the ships too! Odysseus and I went our separate ways to defend the ships. We made our stand until the next day, and we were able to drive them off, but our group suffered great casualties. I’m not sure about the figures but I think that slightly less than half of us were lost in the battle.

Almost immediately, we left Ismaros, and we were all eager to do so too. I looked around the ship I was on and could only see faces filled with sadness and grief. I understood; I felt that way too. If only I could’ve convinced them. I glanced at another ship and I saw Odysseus leaning on the railing, looking more wretched than ever. His face looked like it had aged 15 years and under the moonlight, he appeared like an old man, the light dyeing his hair an artificial silvery-white color. He looked at me, if even for a brief moment, and for that moment I knew what he was thinking.

He was blaming himself for all the lives that were lost.

- Alphaeus


(picture from TrojanWarAmbrosianIliad.jpg)


{actually written by Sean Ocier}

Journey to Home

The war was over. Better yet, I wasn’t dead!

Unfortunately, we still had some problems. For one, we still pretty much had to get back home, but leave it to our Fearless Leader Who Isn’t Afraid of Anything Odysseus to have a plan.

Okay, you don’t really need to plan to get on a boat and row to Ithaca, but you get the point. We left the next morning at around dawn. I looked and saw Odysseus, standing at the bow of the ship, staring into the distance. For the first time in a while, he was smiling. Now, I’m not saying that Odysseus isn’t a happy guy, but it just looked like the weight of the sky was taken off from his shoulders. I couldn’t blame him. I mean he has Penelope and a little boy, his name I forget. Tenelos? Temopolous? Oh yeah, Telemachos. I wonder if he still remembers his father.

My train of thought was interrupted when I heard Odysseus’s booming voice from the deck of the ship. I wonder how he’d gotten there so fast.

“Friends! Companions! It is time we leave this accursed city and set sail for beloved Ithaca, our homeland!” he yelled.

“YES!” we all shouted in response.

“Then let’s move!”

I hurriedly made my way to the mast to loosen it up.

# # #

We’d been at sea for three days and all we could think about was what we’d do when we’d return home. I struck up a conversation with Polites, one of my friends, having grown bored of scrubbing poo of the deck of the ship.

“Hey, Polites, how does it feel now that we’re going back home?” I asked him.

“I feel... happy, but I can’t help but feel there’s something missing,” he answered in reply.

I couldn’t blame him for thinking that. We’d lost a lot of brave men out there. Antiphonous, my brother, Belemone, way too many to think of. The slightest trace of a tear formed in my eye as I turned away from Polites and resumed scrubbing the deck.

- Alphaeus

Greetings!

The very handsome Odysseus

The war was finally over. I could finally go back home to sunny Ithaca to my wi-

Oh, I forgot to introduce myself. How nice of me. I’m Alphaeus, one of Mr. Odysseus’s men, and if you don’t know what you’re reading, this is Odysseus and Friends’ Official Odyssey Travel Blog, updated every once in a while. Okay, I guess I could be clearer. Updates every Wednesdays and Sundays, maybe some other days if we’re feeling good.

Enjoy reading!

PS: Odysseus wrote that caption.