"Come this way, honored Odysseus, great glory of the Achaians, and stay your ship, so that you can listen here to our singing; for no one else has ever sailed past this place in his black ship until he has listened to the honey-sweet voice that issues from our lips"
The Odyssey of Homer, by Lattimore ~ Book XII
Around the World with Oprah Winfrey
Hello Everyone! This is your favorite travel show, Around the World with Oprah Winfrey and I am your host, Oprah Winfrey! We a very special guest with us today. As you guys all know, one of the hottest tourist spots today is the Siren’s Island, where you will be able to witness first hand the song of the Sirens! Be tempted and amazed at the serenity of their tone, the beauty of their melody, and the perfection of their pitch! So for our guest today, the scientists at Oprah Winfrey Corp. have found a way to resurrect a crew member from the one and only Odysseus’s crew to talk about his Siren experience.
Hello? HELLO! HELLO EVERYBODY! I’M HECTOR THE GREEK WARRIOR! IT’S NICE TO MEET YOU ALL? WHAT? I DON’T HAVE TO SHOUT? WHAT IS THIS “MICROPHONE” YOU SPEAK OF? OH, I SEE. I AM MOST DEEPLY SORRY. I’m not yet used to your American customs.
Okay, so can everyone hear me? Great. I would just like to give a shout out to the cook of our ship, my man Stanley! Oh wait he’s dead.
So anyway, as you guys all know, we were like the first ones in history to pass through the Island of the Sirens without dying. It wasn’t really that hard though. We just had to plug our ears with wax. The hard part was taking out the wax out of our ears. But you guys should’ve seen Odysseus though. He was screaming and begging us to release him. I loved that part. He even peed in his pants. At one point, he was laughing hysterically while wailing and shrieking out curses. This was definitely the highlight of my journey. You don’t get to see Odysseus like that everyday.
Enough about Odysseus. I’m here to tell you why you should go to the Island for your vacation. First of all, you should go there for the views. Oh Zeus. Those were some of the most breathtaking views in the world. When you go out to the sea, you’ll just stare at it in awe and wonder. The dark blue ocean stretches out in all directions infinitely. It’s so amazing and so blue! It’s like a baby’s bottom, if that baby was an Avatar. Yeah, I watched the movie yesterday. I love technology!
On top of the really nice view, there’s even a better view once you see the island. Let me just say that it’s a paradise. Not when the sharp rocks on the beach are tearing your ship apart, but when you look at it from afar. It brought me to tears! Words cannot describe it. And then the sunset. Oh man. You’re gonna have an awegasm.
But that’s not even the main event. When you do get to the sirens after you’ve been tied up by our very professional crew members to the mast, you get to hear the beautiful voices of the sirens. You won’t be able to help yourself but to trash and flail around trying to get nearer to them as you hear their hymn. It’s definitely a once in a lifetime experience! I haven’t tried it yet since you know... I’ve been dead but from what Odysseus has told us, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. The Sirens also were very beautiful. I would have fallen heels over head over them (or is it head over heels? I’m not familiar with your expressions.) if it weren’t for their ugly bird bodies. Also, don’t worry; it’s 100% safe. We have a very well-trained crew of deaf sailors, and for emergency purposes, we even have a deaf and blind helicopter pilot on standby if things go awry.
So yeah, that was my Siren experience, or shall I say, my SIREXPERIENCE! Badabim badaboom I’ll be here all night folks.
Pictures from:
http://www.illusionsgallery.com/Ulysses-sirens-Draper-L.jpg
http://thefuturebuzz.com/pics/creative%20commons/21.jpg
Nice! I thought it was really funny and creative because I don't think many people would have thought of the scenario of a companion of Odysseus being resurrected and put on Oprah. The writing was great, it was like I could imagine the guy talking on Oprah (not that I watch Oprah :|).
ReplyDeleteOdysseus wasn't really involved here that much but I thought the part where he was cursing and peeing his pants. I thought that that part was pretty realistic, maybe even the peeing pants part.
I think Odysseus's actions (asking to be tied to the ship so he could hear the Sirens) were pretty okay. However they could have been dangerous if he'd broken free or anything.
- Sean O.
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ReplyDeleteI like the style of how you wrote this blog entry.
ReplyDeleteOdysseus wasn't talked about much in this blog, more on the Sirens and the island they were in. But from what I got from the blog, Odysseus was a very serious fellow. The sight of him thrashing around was already funny to this crew member. The way the island was portrayed though, was very descriptive and the style of writing added to the effect of the whole blog being both interesting and entertaining. -Bernell Go
Yo Hector! It's the cook, Stanley! I miss you man! And I miss that day. Oh my stomach died that day, Odysseus was so funny man! All those thrashing around and pleading, and peeing in his pants, it's just plain hilarious! Maybe he learned something in that experience, maybe he'd think before acting next time. -Stanley
ReplyDelete(there are two Stanleys??? oh well have to change mine)
ReplyDeleteHey Hector! It's Norman Jr! The one with seven kids! Oh wait, that was Adolf. Oops. I just watched the show yesterday on my Underworld TV, nice to see you're alive and well again.
I remember Odysseus crying and screaming too, that was funny! I can't blame him though, I downloaded the Sirens album yesterday from my Underworld computer and it's awesome (although I didn't piss my pants or anything)!
- Norman Jr.